Thousands of airmiles,
the turbulent Atlantic sea
so very far away
from my stretched out arm.
Raise your eyes
from the floor
and at all times,
find the joy.
Shout if you must,
there is always a snowflake of joy
somewhere to be had…..
I have a small, soft edged stone
in my little pocket.
It’s been there for sometime,
this feminine stone so gentle.
I sit and hold it in my right palm.
Perhaps the masculine in me
shall feel its soft voice,
this perfectly gentle rose quartz.
And I remember ….
I see you in my mind
as a tear falls from my watery eye.
Landing on my hand like a gift,
I see I am so blessed to have known you.
My eyes are full.
Full with weight
of small stones I carry.
Stones about us all,
about the cries and moans
of labour through, into the next life…..
As the sperm fertilizes the egg,
so the child comes into the world
planting its seed…..
We grow towards being born
through our Human footprints,
those oh so heavy footprints,
towards our dying….
So soon we do move, stones and all,
into the ‘next life’.
Birthing and Dying –
on and on with our many stones.
Twilight and I am nestled up the corner in my generous chair completely holding my rounded form like a mother holds her baby so tenderly. “I am not ready for winter” I mewled in my little mind as the street light simmered its nauseous amber and the fire waited to be warmed up by matches, paper and crackling kindling.
My thoughts are flitting and monkey like as my body, a little anxious, wants to dart back and forth tidying, cleaning, packing for my trip…. my trip…… my journey to foreign parts where one goes to support an only child through major surgery. Brain surgery.
This is not easy and yet, tears just will not break through the torrid barrier of respectablity, capability, politeness, societal expectations…..
I actually want to scream – yes I want to scream a viscious and vile scream. It is not about being a victim or the noxious stuff which negativity is made of. It is about the incredulity of yet another wretched entanglement of Life and Living’s experiences….. I can accept AND I can rage…
Do not come to my door attempting to stop my voice or hers…. or the voluble need of anyone who is in pain. Join with us and scream that it may turn to laughter as the truthfulness of all things falls into place.
My body wept the tears of my little life, inside.
My heart split open from wetness
of smouldering sadness
as out flew compassionate,
strong arms of an Angel
carrying wings for every single soul
who suffers in this life.
The Angel spoke wordlessly into my eyes –
“When one suffers, all suffers ~ you are not living this alone.”