There is Still Beauty in Suffering.

It’s so easy to think we are ugly… I have been there, have done it, still do it, am beginning to stop it….. I empathise…. but I also say, we see more of our own imperfections (what are those anyway!?) than anyone else does. I/we can easily say how beautiful I think you/we are, yet… that is a fleeting consolation to you/us unless you/we believe it ourselves…. I know you know this. There is something about living this life where one of our many lessons is to truly embrace our humanness, with our beauty, our ugliness, our suffering and our elation. At the end of the day, you/I/we are perfect in our imperfections and WE ALL make up the majestic mural of what it is to be gloriously human. You are stunning;

thank you for being on the planet! 
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When The Heals Of Your Red Shoes DO Still Click Together!

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When The Heals Of Your Read Shoes DO Still Click Together!

When The Heals Of Your Read Shoes DO Still Click Together!

Well quite honestly…. if you’re reading this and you are living with Fibromyalgia or any other chronic and debilitating illness, rest assured… I don’t take it or anything else health related, lying down! Well, sorry, I do because i’m frequently completely knackered during the day and can’t sleep at night! Horizontal I do go in order to snooze, sleep, allow my aching bod to stretch out and not have the pain pulling me down. 
Ok now let’s see….. 
What is it your heart longs for?
How did you ever mislay that longing?
What do you need to do to get it back?
Do you LISTEN to the voice of your pain?
If not, why not?
if yes you do, then what in heaven’s name is it asking of you?  
                                                           
All Dorothy wanted was to go home. She wanted it SO bad that she clicked the heels of her red shoes together and – wham….. she was home…… Now, you’re probably wondering if you should rush out and buy a pair of sparklingly red Dorothy shoes! I did – sort of!  I bought RED ANKLE BOOTS!!! Dorothy believed in going home so much that she brought it into being….. that’s what we need to do my Fibro Friends. 
Ok – I hear you muttering back at me, your fair share of expletives….. ‘Look’ (as the politicians in the UK all like to preface their ‘profound’ statements with)…… The medics don’t know the cause of FMS. There is no absolute test for it….. so, how can they possibly say we cannot become healthy and healed from this debilitating illness? In short, they don’t know! I’m aware of others who have been able to revive their lives, each having worked hard in finding out what’s right for them. We can too! I believe it. 
I have been running a Fibromyalgia Support Group during the last 18months. One thing I firmly believe is that we will not recover if we hold on to the notion that drugs are the answer. My mother had FMS, I have it and my daughter has it. It is like obesity; it is complex. The Rheumatologist I saw for my diagnosis said – “We now believe it is embodied trauma, psychological and or physical which is triggered by a virus and releases as pain a fatigue in the body.” I began to cry. He thought he had upset me. NO! on the contrary. As I have trained  a Body Psychotherapist, I understood this very well and was hugely relieved to have a diagnosis which made sense to me.  I remember so clearly my mother saying her doctor had said the pain was all in her mind. This suggestion had upset her terribly. Many people I have spoken to also believe this to be a negative statement. Unfortunately the bedside manner of many doctors and consultants is not one of speaking in language which is conducive to clarity to the lay person who is suffering! 
Yes….. I am saying I too believe it is in the mind AND body. No, please don’t get me wrong…. I do not, let me emphasize that – I DO NOT believe we are imagining it! The effects of Trauma are destructive…. it seeps into our very being without us even realising it and sits smoldering away. “But”, I hear you saying…… yes, I know….. your childhood was ok…. you have no nasty memories of car accidents, falls or other shocking experiences. Ok …. I hear you AND I also believe your body might have another story, IF YOU GIVE IT SPACE and ALLOW IT A VOICE! 
What do I mean by that? Close your eyes breathe deeply noticing the feelings and sensations in your body without judging them as good or bad, right or wrong. This may be difficult to experience at first but the more you engage with this practise, the easier it will become. We are showing the body compassion and for some of us, this will be pretty much the first time of doing so. Notice the pain, stuckness, tension – whatever it might be…. just notice it…. don’t try to change it…. it really does begin its own journey of change by bringing awareness to it. Just breathe. Find the gratitude in yourself – for me it usually starts of with something like – “I feel so grateful for the space to just do this” or “ I am grateful for my breath.” Or the sun, the cat, the trees…. whatever….. it’s just changing the energy from ‘ouch, I hurt’ which is contraction, to thankfulness which is expansion….. pain is contraction … freedom from pain is expansion.
By beginning on the is journey, we ARE clicking the heels of our “sparklingly red Dorothy shoes”…… you never know where that act might take you!

Special heartfelt empathy and warmth to you if you are reading this and you, like me, have Fibromyalgia or a chronic, debilitating auto immune illness.