When The Heals Of Your Read Shoes DO Still Click Together!

Well quite honestly…. if you’re reading this and you are living with Fibromyalgia or any other chronic and debilitating illness, rest assured… I don’t take it or anything else health related lying down! Well, sorry, I do because i’m frequently completely knackered during the day and can’t sleep at night! Horizontal I do go in order to snooze, sleep, alow my aching bod to stretch out and not have the pain pulling me down. 

Ok folks…..

  • What is it your heart longs for?
  • How did you ever mislay that longing?
  • What do you need to do to get it back?
  • Do you LISTEN to the voice of your pain?
  • If not, why not?
  • if yes you do, then what in heaven’s name is it asking of you?

All Dorothy wanted was to go home. She wanted it SO bad that she clicked the heels of her red shoes together and wham….. she was home…… Now, you’re probably wondering if you should rush out and buy a pair of sparklingly red Dorothy shoes! I did – sort of!  I bought RED ANKLE BOOTS!!! Dorothy believed in going home so much that she brought it into being….. that’s what we need to do.

Ok – I hear you muttering back at the screen your fair share of expletives….. Look (as the politicians in the UK all like to preface their ‘profund’ statments with)…… The medics don’t know the cause of FMS. There is no absolute test for it….. so, how can they possibly say we cannot become healthy and healed from this debilitating illness? I know of others who have been able to revive their lives, each having worked hard in finding out what’s right for them. We can too! I believe it.

I have been running a Fibromyalgia Support Group during the last 18months. One thing i firmly believe is that we will not recover if we hold on to the notion that drugs are the answer. My mother had FMS, I have it and my daughter has it. It is like obesity; it is complex. The Rheumatologist I saw for my diagnosis said – “We now believe it is embodied trauma, psychological and or physical which is triggered by a virus and releases as pain a fatigue in the body.” I began to cry. He thought he had upset me. NO! on the contrary. As I have trained  a Body Psychotherapist, I understood this very well.  I remember so clearly my mother saying her doctor had said it was all in her mind, the pain. This suggestion had upset her terribly. Many people I have spoken to also believe this to be a negative statement. Unfortunately the bedside manner of many doctors and consultants is not one of speaking in language which is conducive to clarity to the lay person who is suffering!

Yes….. I am saying I too believe it is in the mind AND body. No, please don’t get me wrong…. I do not, let me emphasise that – I DO NOT believe we are imagining it! Trauma is so destructive…. it seeps into our very being without us even realising it and just sits there smouldering away. “But”, I hear you saying…… yes, I know….. your childhood was ok…. you have no nasty memories. Ok …. I hear you AND I also believe your body might have another story, IF YOU GIVE IT A VOICE!

What do I mean? Close your eyes breathe deeply *Compassion towards body. Listen. be grateful. Act. Click heals an travel home to yourself. *

Insatiable Sleep

This offering today is linked to FMS (Fibromyalgia Syndrome) which I have….. It’s a chronic condition with many symptoms including widespread, constant pain and deep exhaustion.


Insatiable Sleep

Another phase has hit me….
this rapacious, inescapable sleepiness.
My eyes are heavy, cannot focus,
unable to keep them open, again.
It’s been about three days or so
where life is filtered through 
veiled eyes and echoey ears…..
My writing comes in word-bursts
as mind slides in and out of 
landscapes of colour, emotions 
and rantings of my inner critic.
There is a pain involved here in this 
silent world of insatiable sleep,
this dragging up out of the 
space where cocooning the self
is the only option……
Like dogs (I imagine) 
licking my face, creating dumb shock
in me and unable to get them off….

Such a ghastly thought…..
hello… so glad you dropped by..
Sleeping now.