Sun Setting on the Edge of Time
I sit listening to Bach,
using my watercolour crayons
to create New Year cards.
In the corner of my eye
I see the light changing
to meet the night;
the last night of the year.
In my quiet and gentle space
I begin to let go of the
encumberances of my life
and recognise again and yet again,
where my heart dwells.
My heart lives by the
lakes and pools of life,
in the steeples where bells do chime,
beneath trees where the primrose blooms
and in the pit of my belly
where the stories of my life are told.
So, as the sun sets on the edge of time
I come forward
and jump into the next year,
fully connected to my heart and longing……..
Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping again.
Anticipating New Year changes …..
Pirouetting tulips who grow in vases
even after gathering…..
perhaps there is a glimmer of hope
Seeing the Unseen
particles of dust
who segue the positions,
balancing together formation,
in warm, gentle air.
Dancing in beaming,
they seem to pay respects
our eyes would not
behold such grace.
We wouldn’t know who
dances around us,
playing in our hair….
What more passes me by
A tribute to those suffering in the floods. What we see out in the world around us is a reflection of that which is inside us. May all be healed through the love and compassion of those who have lost their homes, possessions and livelihoods.
Sitting With Love.
Sitting with Love,
as Love sits with me.
The exhaustion of the day
reflects the worn out, tired months
of a staggeringly, swiftly moving year.
The rains have drenched and
broken down the muddy banks
of my heart and I find I am flooded
with sadness ……
Yet from here,
I see the opportunity
to rebuild with purpose …
for as I sit with Love,
Love sits with me.
Feet of Lead
I am longing for a time
when I actually practise what I preach…..
quiet spiritual sacred space
times when I truly withdraw.
From that place I shall heal myself
and through that, send out to others.
That time shall come;
my desire and passion will see that it does!
I call into the shapeless night
and out to the scattered stars
and back comes in sounds to me….
something which may translate –
“this is your path, clear is your way, dance it.”
I have been longing for this day…..
Today is the Still Point….
we sit at this pivotal quiet place
for tomorrow more light shall come,
seeping in under the door
and breaking the darkness of sleeping night.
When The Heals Of Your Read Shoes DO Still Click Together!
Well quite honestly…. if you’re reading this and you are living with Fibromyalgia or any other chronic and debilitating illness, rest assured… I don’t take it or anything else health related, lying down! Well, sorry, I do because i’m frequently completely knackered during the day and can’t sleep at night! Horizontal I do go in order to snooze, sleep, allow my aching bod to stretch out and not have the pain pulling me down.
Ok now let’s see…..
What is it your heart longs for?
How did you ever mislay that longing?
What do you need to do to get it back?
Do you LISTEN to the voice of your pain?
If not, why not?
if yes you do, then what in heaven’s name is it asking of you?
All Dorothy wanted was to go home. She wanted it SO bad that she clicked the heels of her red shoes together and – wham….. she was home…… Now, you’re probably wondering if you should rush out and buy a pair of sparklingly red Dorothy shoes! I did – sort of! I bought RED ANKLE BOOTS!!! Dorothy believed in going home so much that she brought it into being….. that’s what we need to do my Fibro Friends.
Ok – I hear you muttering back at me, your fair share of expletives….. ‘Look’ (as the politicians in the UK all like to preface their ‘profound’ statements with)…… The medics don’t know the cause of FMS. There is no absolute test for it….. so, how can they possibly say we cannot become healthy and healed from this debilitating illness? In short, they don’t know! I’m aware of others who have been able to revive their lives, each having worked hard in finding out what’s right for them. We can too! I believe it.
I have been running a Fibromyalgia Support Group during the last 18months. One thing I firmly believe is that we will not recover if we hold on to the notion that drugs are the answer. My mother had FMS, I have it and my daughter has it. It is like obesity; it is complex. The Rheumatologist I saw for my diagnosis said – “We now believe it is embodied trauma, psychological and or physical which is triggered by a virus and releases as pain a fatigue in the body.” I began to cry. He thought he had upset me. NO! on the contrary. As I have trained a Body Psychotherapist, I understood this very well and was hugely relieved to have a diagnosis which made sense to me. I remember so clearly my mother saying her doctor had said the pain was all in her mind. This suggestion had upset her terribly. Many people I have spoken to also believe this to be a negative statement. Unfortunately the bedside manner of many doctors and consultants is not one of speaking in language which is conducive to clarity to the lay person who is suffering!
Yes….. I am saying I too believe it is in the mind AND body. No, please don’t get me wrong…. I do not, let me emphasize that – I DO NOT believe we are imagining it! The effects of Trauma are destructive…. it seeps into our very being without us even realising it and sits smoldering away. “But”, I hear you saying…… yes, I know….. your childhood was ok…. you have no nasty memories of car accidents, falls or other shocking experiences. Ok …. I hear you AND I also believe your body might have another story, IF YOU GIVE IT SPACE and ALLOW IT A VOICE!
What do I mean by that? Close your eyes breathe deeply noticing the feelings and sensations in your body without judging them as good or bad, right or wrong. This may be difficult to experience at first but the more you engage with this practise, the easier it will become. We are showing the body compassion and for some of us, this will be pretty much the first time of doing so. Notice the pain, stuckness, tension – whatever it might be…. just notice it…. don’t try to change it…. it really does begin its own journey of change by bringing awareness to it. Just breathe. Find the gratitude in yourself – for me it usually starts of with something like – “I feel so grateful for the space to just do this” or “ I am grateful for my breath.” Or the sun, the cat, the trees…. whatever….. it’s just changing the energy from ‘ouch, I hurt’ which is contraction, to thankfulness which is expansion….. pain is contraction … freedom from pain is expansion.
By beginning on the is journey, we ARE clicking the heels of our “sparklingly red Dorothy shoes”…… you never know where that act might take you!
Special heartfelt empathy and warmth to you if you are reading this and you, like me, have Fibromyalgia or a chronic, debilitating auto immune illness.